she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize