He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
