accomplished twins. life is a go
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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