Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
