Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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