So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
