you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize