I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
