arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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