All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
