remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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