what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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