He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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