Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
