Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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