He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
