I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
