Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
