I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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