soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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