Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
