You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
