PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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