i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
