Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
