I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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