just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
We need to rekindle our bromance
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
