looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
