im drinking this country out of the recession.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
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