We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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