Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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