I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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