theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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