She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
