It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
