Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
