I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
