How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
