but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
