can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
