guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
