Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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