Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
