note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
