Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
