How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
