have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
