Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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