after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I forget how to act sober
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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