My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
