Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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