And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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