Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
